Parshat Ki-Tissa; On the Shattering of the Tablets and the Rebuilding of Self

For a printable PDF please click here: parshat Ki Tissa broken tablets 5779

300px-Rembrandt_Harmensz._van_Rijn_079
We all live between the first and the second tablets
We all live in the moment of that shattering
In the midst of the fragmentation
Of the rupture
Of the regret
We all dream of the return to the ideal
To the start
To the whole
To the moment before the deceit and the betrayal
We all want to forget the dance around the calf
We want to ignore the anger and disenchantment etched on the face of the Divine
We all dream of the fairy-tale life we had imagined
Before we disillusioned ourselves and others
Before we ate from the tree and paradise was lost
Before we killed Hevel – the nothingness within
Before we threw our brother in the pit for the sin of expectant privilege
Or played a deception on our father for the sin of transcendent ideals
Before we became so convinced that the imperialism of our truth became impenetrable
affording us a blindness that can’t see beyond or past or through
Before we donned the clothes of God Himself
Before we became the stiff-necked people whose incapacity to paradigm shift led to the worship of the static and the stagnant- money, self interest, Rabbinic authority or even idolatry
As ends rather than as means
And now we are here in the moment after the before and annihilation is imminent

But the message of the Divine is other

It’s liberating and debilitating all at once
It’s transformative and elevating
It calls us to live between destruction and redemption
Brokenness and wholeness
To house within ourselves the tablets shattered and restored
The ideal and the real
The acceptance and regret
The authoritative and the autonomous
It beckons us to follow in His path
To reimagine and recreate
To redeem and reframe
To build resilience and transformation
Rather than destruction and oblivion
And in the face of a promise broken, a relationship betrayed, an ideal pulled apart by human frailty
We are called upon to return to our source, find meaning in our downfall and flourish in our limitations and inadequacies
Riddled with imperfections we’re given the space to be who we are
And in our pit, our downfall, feel the countenance of the Divine
So even in fragmentation lies the vestiges of wholeness and even in destruction lies the seeds of redemption
And that is where God begins His return to Self and we begin ours to Him

שובו אלי ואשובה אליכם – return to me and I will return to you
Oscillating between everything that is human and Divine, ideal and real, redeeming and fragmenting is the essence of all
It is there in the sanctuary of God the frailty of humanity remains shattered and yet quite literally basks in the light of the Divine

Posted in Uncategorized
2 comments on “Parshat Ki-Tissa; On the Shattering of the Tablets and the Rebuilding of Self
  1. yitz greenberg says:

    Tanya,
    you are like a maayan ha’mitgaber.I appreciate the creativity of this fresh/free form prose poem commentary /reflection. yitz

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: